Love has been subjected to Humanity’s Worst of the Worst treatments both verbally and literally.
Anytime a selfish action is questioned, the answer always is “It’s out of love”.
How do you know that somebody loves you?
also how do you know that you love someone?
We are very shameless people. We play games with each other and call it Love.
You have defined certain criteria in your mind that if such such behavior is received from the other party, it is love.
You’ve created a whole menu of all those gestures that you consider as Love. Isn’t that right?
Criteria as If (x), then it’s love:
- If someone smiles 3 times at me
- If someone asks me “How am I doing?”
- If someone gifts me <$500 gift in less than 2 months
- If someone helps me in my homework
- If someone …
- If …
This is how you get persuaded by others that you proudly call your “Best Friend”, “Soulmate”, “Classmate”.
Funny thing is, the other person has also created such list of qualifying gestures.
On top of that, all these lists are public.
So, if I want to persuade you, all I need to do is pick qualifying gesture #8,16 and 591 and you’ll be persuaded.
So is the case if someone wants to persuade me.
Don’t be surprised, this is how we actually live our lives.
No reflection, no inquiry, lifeless, lack luster, dead pattern is the essence of most our lives.
You just give away your existence in someone’s hands who you only think that they love you.
How do you know who loves your or not?
Is it that when someone gives you pleasure, that means they love you?
It is that when someone is kind to you. that is love?
Is it that when someone wants to keep you Happy forever, that is love?
Let’s see how all of the above is NOT love.
Let’s say I’m an alcoholic, only thing that gives me pleasure is non-stop drinking.
Someone wants to give me pleasure because she loves me, so she gives me alcohol.
Should I love her, because she’s giving me pleasure?
Let’s take another example.
I’m a lazy piece of sh$t. I don’t work, I live with my parents. I don’t help out with chores.
My parents put up with all of my nonsense behavior, because they’re being kind to me, because they think they love me.
Should I consider this as love?
So, we can conclude that neither giving, nor receiving pleasure can be considered Love.
“
Love is not ‘I keep you happy, you keep me happy’
“
– Acharya Prashant
Immediately come to your senses when told that this is Love.
If you only take away this one thing from this Article,
you’ll save yourself from the biggest of miseries.
If you associate Love with Happiness you’re dead wrong.
If Love was found in Happiness, wouldn’t we all be free from all the entanglements.
How do you get caught in the nets of desires, isn’t that your pursuit of Pleasure.
Your chase of pleasure is the root cause of your countless entanglements.
It’s not that we’re not Happy. Humanity was never Happier than ever in the history of mankind.
Everywhere you go, you see that entertainment, pleasure, happiness is readily available.
Dopamine hits are so prevalent today that we’re overdosing on Happiness.
Look at our Hedonistic Lifestyle. Is anyone chasing an eternal bliss? Peace of mind? Contentment?
Look at all the Mental Illnesses today, where do you think all of that is coming from? Drugs, no?
It’s the constant drowning in Happiness that is killing us.
So Love is not in Happiness.
If all of these are not love then what is, you may ask.
When you truly Love someone, you don’t think in terms of pleasure or pain.
You behave on a completely different pane of consciousness.
You neither want to make them happy nor sad.
You only want to give them Freedom.
You only want to make them free from their entanglements.
“How do I help her/him reach his/her peak self”.
“How do I give her/him all the sky to fly away”.
Now it’s also a fact that anytime you want to better someone, they’ll always curse you, blame you, get angry at you, frustrated at you, attack you because all they want is tiny piece of land,
and you want to give them the universe.
But it’s okay.
Love has such an incredible apatite for all the blames. Love has such deep resilience that it soaks up all the tantrums the other person may throw.
In Love you definitely don’t give pleasure, but
certainly accept an incredible sorrow.
If Love is really honest, it won’t seem attractive, even more it will always seem unapproachable.
We will disdain the fact that someone wants to set us Free.
The more someone wants us to set us Free, the more we will run away from them. Why?
Because breaking free from ALL the false beliefs requires an immense strength, for the battle is almost undefeatable.
When is more challenging to run on the treadmill, when you’re obese or when you’re fit?
So, to recapture, Love is not what we believe it is.
Our definition of Love is as absurd as an alcoholic trying to teach benefits of sobriety.
Anyone who cuts deep in our beliefs has good intentions at heart. Instead of belittling them, respect them for their kindness.
Never ever “have best intentions” in your heart for someone as it will almost always will do them more bad than good.